Through the looking glass

I haven't written in a long time but I figured there is no better time to start. I have grown a lot which is what usually what happens when the years pass. I am almost done with my pediatrics residency! 6 more months left... I recently was involved in a code on Christmas day. I guess you never know when you will be in these situations. A mother brought her almost 2yo daughter to the ER. She was limp and cyanotic. Immediately she was placed on the monitor and there was no rhythm... asystole. Immediately CPR was started. The ER attending ran the code. We all participated. The code ran for about an hour. My memory is vivid and I won't forget it. The part that is most clear was hearing her mother whimper and cry. I remember the grandparents grabbing my hand begging to keep going. I don't know why me. I wasn't performing chest compressions or pushing medications. I just happened to be the one who took off her blood pressure cuff and tape her diaper on to make her look mor